Thursday, January 13, 2011
The room
You may not know but in almost every infertile person's life, they have a room...THE ROOM...the room that in the beginning, they made a plan for...planned for baby furniture...planned a theme...planned a space for a rocking chair...the baby's room. It is so easy to get carried away in the beginning. This room is cause for much happiness and excitement in the beginning. You can spend hours and hours on the internet finding ideas and plans for this room. But after three months go by...then six months...then 1 year, 2 years, 3 years plus - THE ROOM is cause for heartache and sadness. We have a design plan that I printed and hung in THE ROOM when we first started trying. The paper is a little crumpled and yellow now. It has been hanging on the wall for 3 years plus some. So today, as I am sitting here and thinking about what this year might hold, I am considering letting go of the room. Maybe THE ROOM should become a craft room, a sewing room, a music room...I wish I could describe the depths of my sorrow when I think about actually making this room usable space for us. Part of me - the hopeful and postive part - wants to wait just a little longer...because what if we need the room soon?...The other part of me - the realist - thinks that maybe, just maybe giving this room a definition could be a positive thing. We wouldn't walk by the room and think of what it could be. We could enjoy it for what it is. Who knew that one room in your house could be the root of so many emotions?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
when we built our house four years ago, we built our "room" right in the front with a huge window...I remember walking through the house when it was only a slab of foundation and some framing, and making Brad stand in the "master" room and I stood in "the room". I wanted to see if he would be able to hear me "call" for him, so that just in case our baby cried, we could hear it. I remember we didn't put any light fixtures in the room, and we wanted it bare, so that at any moment we could fill it with either pink or blue. It sat empty for awhile, just like the "room" had been in our first house...I kept the door closed and didn't put ANYTHING in there, it was like the little secret room that I could hide away and not to have to explain to people or guests...I used to sit in the room and pray. It became my "prayer room" while I was waiting...now, we have turned our guest room into our "room"...I keep thinking at any minute we are going to have to unpack all of the baby stuff and turn it into a real "nursery", but for now, it's sits....but, it still makes a really good "prayer" room. Just a constant reminder...
ReplyDeleteInstead of "the room," maybe it could be your "love room." It could be filled with the things and spirit you love. The things are variable. They are the crafts that you work so hard on, the books that you lose yourself in, the music that speaks to you, the furniture that comforts you, and the people who fill your life with happiness. Fill it with the Spirit of God who pours His comfort into your soul as you wait for the desire of your heart. And when that desire is answered and the baby (however he or she comes) gets there, he or she will be wrapped in all the love that the room has held. I love your family so much and am continuing to pray daily for its expansion.
ReplyDeleteA room that holds so much potential...leave your plan up and make it as Erin suggested, the "love room". a place where you go to relax, enjoy and pray. Re-defining what that room is now won't take away what it will be. God has plans for you and JT- I wish I had a glimpse of what they were to tell you, but I know they are amazing- every plan God has is good. It may not be how we envisioned it (our plan) but He knows our hearts desires, and he will give you a path to follow. I continue to pray each day that God will give you strength and peace. I also pray that he calms the fears that you have, and that he grants the desires of your heart. While he perfects His plan for you, that he draws you closer to Him and to JT so that you may be strong as one- the way He intended. No matter how this comes about, know that I am praying for you daily!!
ReplyDelete